Careers: The Little Black Book

There are times in your careeer when you’d really like some advice. Or perhaps some #inspo. Probably not Sheryl Sandberg Lean In level (because that’s not really where most of us are in our professional life RN) or even Arianna Huffington’s Thrive. What you need is advice from someone you can relate to – and that’s where Otegha Uwagba’s Little Black Book comes in. The founder of Women Who – a platform and organisation for creative working women, Uwagba’s brand new book is a concise 100-page compendium of inspiring advice on everything from productivity to public speaking, business skills to branding.

It’s a must-read guide you’ll come back to again and again, teeming with tips, #inspo and career insights, as well as advice from female entrepreneurs, writers, creatives, consultants and journalists – there’ll be more than one name you recognise here. And – of course – there’s an inspiring quote or two to open each chapter, namechecking Michelle Obama, Maya Angelou and Simone de Beauvoir to name but a few. Little Black Book is an indispensable, genuinely relatable careers guide for women today, so we’re delighted to share some of Otegha Uwagba’s own tips for life and work…

Top productivity tip?

Remember that working non-stop doesn’t necessarily equate to you getting more done, because your brain (or at least my brain!) simply can’t function at peak performance for hours on end. Be sure to break up your days with frequent breaks to allow your brain to rest and recharge – try working for a 90 minute burst followed by a 30 minute break. I find that structure works really well for me, and the fact that my next break is never more than 90 minutes away keeps me really motivated.

The maxim you live by?

Work hard and be nice to people. It’s such a standard and frequently repeated piece of advice that it’s become something of a cliché, but following those two basic principles – whatever line of work you’re in– will always serve you well.

How to keep body and mind on track?

Learn to protect your time. Learn when to say no. Don’t stretch yourself too thin in an attempt to accommodate everyone else’s needs, at the expense of your own energy, happiness and sanity.

Personal branding – brilliant or BS?

Brilliant. Building a strong personal brand can really turbo-charge your career, but I think people tend to shy away from the term because it sounds so corporate and buzzword-y. Your personal brand is essentially a measure of how you’re perceived by others in a professional context, nothing more complicated than that.

Top networking tip?

Introduce yourself to people at events, and at work – don’t wait for people to approach you, because chances are you’ll be waiting forever!

How to get a work/life balance?

As much as possible, try to ignore emails during the evenings and at weekends. We live in an ‘always-on’ culture where people are expected to be available at all times of the day, and it’s incredibly unhealthy and detrimental to your sense of self. It’s a small step, but once you commit to it, you’ll soon realise how much more relaxed you feel in general.

The best piece of advice you’ve been given?

“Not everyone’s gonna clap for yo”. This one’s a quote from my mum: one of the wisest women I know. Whether it’s a failed job interview or a rejected pitch – if you do creative work, you’re going to hear ‘no’ a lot. Not everyone’s going to like, appreciate, or be into whatever it is you’re doing. And that’s okay – rejection or disinterest, in all of their frustrating and disappointing guises, are things all creative people have to deal with, no matter how successful they are. The important thing is not to dwell on that for too long (or to take it too personally), and to focus on reaching the people who are into what you’re doing. They’re out there.

Any advice on boosting skills/professional development?

I love listening to podcasts, I think they’re a fantastic way of picking up new knowledge and learning about the world around you. I feel like they keep me really plugged in culturally too.

Top freelance tip?

Get an accountant – it’s money well spent, will save you time, and generally just make your life a whole lot easier.

How to negotiate that pay rise?

Steer clear of emotional language such as ‘I need’ or ‘I want’ – instead, frame your request as a business case, presenting tangible successes and wins you’ve had over recent months, so that there’s no doubt as to whether or not you deserve that extra cash!

Little Black Book by Otegha Uwagba is published by 4th Estate.

The Power of Self-Awareness

Do you understand who you really are? Or how others really see you? We all know people with a stunning lack of self-awareness – but how often do we consider whether we might have the same problem? Research shows that self-awareness is the meta-skill of the 21st century – the foundation for high performance, smart choices, and lasting relationships. Unfortunately, we are remarkably poor judges of ourselves and how we come across, and it’s rare to get candid, objective feedback from colleagues, employees, and even friends and family. Psychologist, researcher and bestselling author Dr Tasha Eurich shares tips from her latest book – Insight – on how to improve your self-awareness, along with your career, relationships and more…

Why insight matters

People who possess self-awareness – that is, who know themselves and how others see them – make smarter decisions, build stronger relationships, enjoy more successful careers, feel more self-confidence and acceptance, and live happier lives. Insight is therefore a noble goal, and many people try to gain it through introspection – that is, digging into our deepest thoughts, motives, and emotions. But rather shockingly, research (mine and others’) has shown that the act of thinking about ourselves very often doesn’t result in knowing ourselves. The good news is that introspection can be effective—it’s just that so many people are doing it incorrectly! Below, I’ll bust a few myths of introspection, and show how approaching it a bit differently can have a powerful payoff.

Be intentional about how you journal

Though it’s often seen as one of the most effective ways to get in touch with our inner selves, a growing body of research suggests that introspection via journaling has some surprising traps that can suck the insight right out of the experience. Though there are a lot of nuances to this, let me share a few key takeaways. First, we shouldn’t use journaling as a method to discharge our negative emotions – instead, we should look at both our feelings and the facts of a situation – for example, we might describe what happened, or how other people viewing the situation might have seen it. Those who learn the most from journaling find new ways to view their negative experiences, leading to growth and change. Second, and though this may be surprising, we should write less to learn more. Writing every few days or only when you are trying to make an important decision has been shown to be more effective than writing every day.

Don’t get stuck in an endless loop of self-scrutiny

Though rumination is the enemy of introspection, almost everyone does it. We might endlessly replay a conversation in our minds or beat ourselves up about something we did (or didn’t do). In addition to being a mental hell, rumination is also a barrier to insight. But it can be squashed with the right approach. Let’s say you’re beating yourself up about a recent mistake. One way to move past it is to remember that other people don’t generally care about our mistakes as much as we do. Ask, If someone I knew did the same thing – would I even be thinking about it now? Another approach is to adopt a learning mindset—instead of focusing on the mistake itself, focus on what you learned. But if you really can’t stop ruminating, you can use a tool I call “hitting pause” – find a distraction that will give you a fast, positive reward, like cleaning, seeing friends, or exercising. Getting some distance very often makes things feel much less upsetting and much more manageable.

Practice non-meditative mindfulness

When we get in the habit of mindfully noticing new things in ourselves or our world, it dramatically improves our self-knowledge. Try to look at circumstances, behaviours, and relationships from a different angle, both the good and the bad. You might ask yourself what opportunities you can find in a difficult situation, or how your weaknesses might be reframed as strengths. You can use this same technique to gain valuable insight by reframing your experiences from a more objective angle. For example, if you and your partner are having a disagreement, take a moment to mentally step outside of yourself to “watch” what’s going on – instead of being an angry spouse, for example, become an detached observer.

Don’t stop using social media – just use it differently

Researchers have discovered that people who use social media generally fall into one of two categories: 80% are so-called ‘Meformers,’ who like to post messages that are all about telling everyone what’s going on in their lives. The remaining 20% are ‘Informers’ who tend to have more friends and enjoy richer, more satisfying interactions. They use social media as a way to truly engage and stay connected with others – their goals are to inform, entertain and inspire rather that to rack up ‘likes’. They might post an article they found interesting, an amusing observation, or a funny or informative video. To move from Meformer to Informer, when you are about to post something, ask What am I hoping to accomplish by doing this? Then, ask Is this action about me or about others?

Seek and hear feedback

Psychologists have found that generally, other people see us more objectively than we see ourselves. They can also anticipate our future behaviour better than we can (a fact to which you can attest if you’ve ever met a friend’s new, obviously ill-suited love interest and correctly predicted that the relationship wouldn’t last). Even strangers have been found to see us disconcertingly accurately. It takes courage to consider that other people might see us differently than we see ourselves, and to actively seek out that information. It might feel intimidating or terrifying, but the insight we gain is well worth it. Seeing ourselves from multiple angles—that is, examining our own perspectives and comparing them with how others see us – gives us more context, more information about how we can improve, and more control over our destiny.

Ask What, not Why

Asking why we do things creates a negative impact and permits us to justify or rationalise bad behaviour. It also reduces the quality of our decisions as we invent reasons that confirm our existing beliefs. To better understand our true thoughts and emotions, we need to stop asking “why” and start asking “what.” Asking “what” questions keeps us open to discovering more information about ourselves and moving ahead in a productive way. What’s going on? What am I feeling? What is the dialogue inside my head? What’s another way to see this situation? What can I do to respond better? Making the transition from “why” to “what” can indeed be the difference between victimhood and growth.

Insight: The Power of Self-Awareness in a Self-Deluded World by Tasha Eurich is published by Pan Macmillan, priced £18.99. Insight is available to buy online here.

Why Write?

When Virago Press was founded forty-some years ago, its principal aim was revolutionary: to publish books by women. You’d be forgiven for thinking that this wasn’t actually all that game-changing, but Carmen Callil’s publishing house was the first to take on this apparently impenetrable mission. And the meaning of Virago? A heroic war-like woman. Almost half a decade later, another mythical female figure has stepped into the spotlight: Salomé. Another powerful female figure championing women and their writing. Salomé is an online literary magazine for emerging female writers.

Perhaps you’ve previously scribbled a few poetic musings down on the back of an envelope. Or thought that one day – one day – you’d finally write that novel. Maybe you’ve even submitted work to a literary journal, or written a birthday limerick, or penned a eulogy so perfectly, perfectly composed that it really ought to be published. But maybe you’ve never ventured into writing – although the thought has crossed your mind, albeit fleetingly. So why should you write? Here, Salomé‘s founder shares her essential tips on what it means to write – and why you definitely should!

I want to start writing, where should I start?

I think the best place is to write whatever comes into your head. There’s a journalist I love, Ann Friedman, who really recommends this for getting over writers block. Yes, some of it might be complete rubbish, but most of the time you’re writing in your style about anything that pops into your head – it might give you some inspiration.

How often should I write?

I – along with many others – am an alumnus of Write Like A Grrrl: creative writing workshops for women which are hosted across the UK. Write Like A Grrrl founder and tutor Kerry Ryan teaches something called a Brief Daily Session (BDS). The advice here is to write for about 20 minutes a day (and not more than about an hour), but to make sure that you do it every day. That way you get into good habits and become used to writing all the time. BDS takes off the pressure of giving yourself a deadline and invariably leaving it all to the last day and having to make yourself not procrastinate. I know people who have written whole novels through BDS – it might have taken them six months, rather than three, but it is a much more productive way of doing it.

What about getting others’ opinions?

Submit your writing to Salomé! We give everyone who submits – regardless of whether we publish them or not – feedback. And that means about a page of the stuff. So just submit to us – it’s free, you could get paid if published and you’ll get feedback. There’s nothing to lose, only to gain!

How is writing fiction different from writing a blog?

I’m not sure it is. It’s still a creative process. The writing process is the same, though you might edit it more if you’re trying to get a novel published. What is different, though, is the immediacy of release and consumption. The thing I love about a blog is you can splurge your thoughts onto the computer, send it out into the world and have people read it there and then. For me, it’s a much more rough and ready process. I have a piece of flash fiction (it’s only 800 words) that I wrote in February this year and I’m still tweaking it.

How should I find inspiration for writing?

Inspiration? I struggle. I always try and think of new topics to write about but I always come back to the same one: mental health. It’s because I have my own very profound experiences with it. I was thinking about this today on the way back from the gym actually; why I can’t find anything else I write about well enough, in my opinion at least. Is it because I don’t have the depth of experience needed to really connect with a writing subject? Or is it just that the depth of my experiences of mental health outstrips everything else to the point that my writing on mental health blows everything else out of the water. I’m not sure. You can’t create inspiration. You just have to wait. Doing new things, meeting new people, giving different writing topics a go, can all help though I think.

What’s different about ‘female’ writing?

I can’t say in general, but from what I’ve noticed from Salomé submissions after just one issue, is a pervading sense of melancholy. I’d be interested to do a “happy” themed issue one day and see if the writing is any happier. I’m half-expecting lots of the pieces to be about a loss of, or the pursuit of, happiness though!

Why share my writing?

You don’t have to. Really. But why not? I used to write for me. I still do, but the sense of satisfaction I get from knowing others are reading the words I poured my heart and soul into is greater than it might be otherwise.

Jacquelyn is the Founder & CEO of Salomé, the literary magazine for emerging female writers. We give anyone who identifies as female the platform, confidence and experience to get their work published in an industry that favours and publishes male writing more. You can follow Salomé on Instagram @salome_lit and find them on Twitter with the same handle.

Life & Work

Having met Katia Beauchamp in person, it’s hard not to open this feature with a gushing, celebrity interview-style intro. Fresh off the plane from New York, mother to two young boys and head of a wildly successful international company, signs of tiredness would be understandable. But no, when we met 30-something co-founder of Birchbox, she was glowing, infectiously passionate about her business and undeniably charming, flashing an all-American smile at every turn. Her professional background? A degree in International Studies & Economics, plus an MBA from Harvard led Beauchamp to a successful career in finance and real estate. Pretty good going you’re thinking.

2010 saw the launch of Birchbox – effectively a true disruptor in the beauty industry and a business format that has subsequently been copied the world over. Fast forward to 2017, and Birchbox has 1 million subscribers and 4 million total customers worldwide, as well as stores in the US and France. Beauchamp has garnered awards too numerous to mention here – and even (squeal!) appeared on Project Runway. Celebrating 100,000 subscribers in the UK – we asked Beauchamp about just what makes her tick – instant inspiration guaranteed.

Motivation for me is all about…

I’m motivated by the size of the opportunity to change the way women discover beauty. The majority of women don’t enjoy the process of researching and shopping for new products – they just want it to be easy. And Birchbox is uniquely able to reach those women and deliver a fun, efficient experience that effectively changes their relationship with the category. We’re just getting started.

I’m also extremely motivated to build an army of strong female leaders who feel empowered to be ambitious and advocate for what they need to be successful. I want women to feel comfortable asking their employer for whatever it is that they need – whether that’s more resources, a higher salary, development opportunities, flexibility in their schedule or mentorship.

Success means…

I want to change the paradigm of what success means. It’s not just about working incredibly hard until retirement, but rather building a mutually beneficial relationship with your employer so your needs and demands are met too. I want to scale the idea that a having a job can be truly fulfilling and gratifying. That would be a win.

I couldn’t have got there without…

My team at Birchbox. I am truly grateful for the passion, time and hard work they dedicate to Birchbox every day.

I always start my day with…

I wake up to the sound of my twin boys, Alec and Guy, talking and singing to each other in the next room. I go get them and we watch the Today Show together on the couch (they are obsessed with Al Roker!). Then I make them breakfast while my husband Greg makes us coffee. I check my phone for any important texts when I first wake up, but I don’t look at email until after I’ve spent time with my kids.

When I don’t feel inspired I…

Take a break and spend time with my family! Seeing the kids and my husband refuels me. Their dancing and silliness is so fun, it just grounds you. Before I had kids it was impossible for me to turn my brain off from work. However now I realize how beneficial it can be to disconnect – I’m able to add so much more value. Inspiration doesn’t come when you are not feeling balanced.

The landscape for women in business today looks like…

There has been so much progress but there is still a real opportunity to change the status quo. Female leaders have a responsibility to set examples that allow other women to learn from and build upon. Diversity in leadership is clearly positive for society – men and women think differently. Diversity creates an important balance that changes the potential solution to any problem or opportunity. Growth and change comes from challenging our own ideas and preconceptions. We need to challenge our thinking and create opportunities for female leaders.

It’s important for young women to first understand their own self-worth; that they are talented, deserving and can contribute even in the early days of their career. Ask smart questions, be humble yet demanding, and learn from every opportunity.

The trait I most deplore in others is…

Lack of support for other women! The most important thing we can do is to support each other. We have to be comfortable coaching our peers. It takes practice, it can be uncomfortable and sometimes it may not go well, but it’s the most likely place women will turn to for help. We need to celebrate other women finding success. We are in this together!

I’d like to be remembered for…

I want Birchbox to be known for attracting and developing the most talented leaders in the world. To me, that means building a team that is responsible for the innovation and future of our company – a responsibility that goes far beyond executives. I’ve also learned to accept that those people may leave to pursue other things that advance their careers in a different way – whether that’s heading to business school or starting their own company. That’s a real signal of exceptional, quality leadership and something that I think about a lot.

What makes me happiest is…

Without a doubt it is spending time with my family

Can I run in heels?

I’m much more likely to be in flats than to be in a situation where I’d have to run in heels, but I could definitely do it – especially if I’m chasing after my kids.

For more information and to subscribe to Birchbox, see the company’s website.

Life & Work

Whether you’re looking at Katherine Ormerod’s impressive CV or her lively, always-updated Instagram, it’s pretty clear why she’s called her latest venture Work Work Work. An online platform dedicated to showcasing women – and their lives – working across creative industries including fashion, beauty, design and art, it’s an instant hit of #inspo, with a generous dose of honesty. An “anti-perfectionism project which aims to reveal and explore the non-edited challenges that women face behind the fantasy of social media”, you’ll find women sharing on everything from stress and suicide to money and motherhood – strictly no holds barred.

Despite stints at everywhere from Grazia and Lyst to the Sunday Times Style, Ormerod herself has faced more than a few challenges along the way. One thing is clear though, she’s always, always worked. The result? For someone in her thirties, Katherine Ormerod is one pretty inspiring lady, if only to prove that motivation and tenacity will always pay off in the end. Fashion and journalism are two industries which are notoriously poorly paid and hard to break into, but Ormerod has carved her own path, based on talent, drive and – guess what – work, work, work. We found out more about a name you’ll definitely want to keep watching…

Motivation for me is all about…

I’ve always been really driven. I think there is an element of sheer ambition-I came from a modest background and was a scholarship kid and knew that I really wanted to achieve something different in life. In my twenties that meant career success and positions at respected publications. In my thirties it has meant freedom and financial security.

Success means…

Self respect, confidence and inner security. For me success is about resilience and knowing you can 100% rely on yourself.

I couldn’t have got there without…

Rejection, failure and disappointment. All have made me steely but also empathetic. The more you understand the human condition, the better you become at engaging and inspiring people – I’ve been fortunate enough to experience lots of ups and downs, catastrophes and triumphs just like everyone else. Lessons in humility have definitely helped me get to where I am today.

I was given a chance early on in my career by the then fashion editor at the Sunday Times Style, Sharon Ridoynauth and was supported through the worst time in my life by the team at Grazia – without other women like them I wouldn’t have made it through those tough few years at the beginning of my career. My parents have also been so instrumental – mum with her unfailing sunny-side up attitude and my dad’s constant encouragement for me to live the life I want and not be, ‘just another grey suit,’ as he puts it.

I always start my day with…

A firm psychological mentality. I want so desperately to snooze, but I don’t. I always get up when I planned to unless I’m at death’s door – the rest of the day is always better if you’re strict with yourself first thing.

When I don’t feel inspired I…

I think the key to inspiration is doing a lot of things and having multiple ‘jobs’. I edit a website, shoot imagery, work with brands across all sorts of content and strategy, interview new people every week and still do bits and bobs for press. A lack of inspiration for me only happens when I’m underemployed – any easy or repetitive work kills me and I have to have enough to sustain me for at least eight hours a day. Life has to be pacey and dynamic or I can become very dejected very quickly. I think it goes back to success – being busy is actually something I need to feel successful.

The landscape for women in business today looks like…

I’ve been incredibly sheltered my entire life from any form of gender prejudice or any idea that I couldn’t achieve whatever I wanted. I went to a selective all girls school on scholarship and financial aid from my dad’s company and our teachers were resolute feminists who believed they were moulding the next generation of industry leaders. My mum runs her own business and I’ve only worked in fashion which is so disproportionately female and bolshy you can struggle to imagine anything holding you back.

The past political year has obviously smashed my naivety apart and I can really see that women still have a huge way to go in business starting with maternity and childcare and ending in equal pay and far wider representation at the highest echelons. On the flipside, I really feel my generation of women in business are incredibly supportive, we share our struggles and feel a huge amount of common ground. It sounds trite, but the truth is we’re stronger together and the unity I’ve experienced during my career suggests women as a force in business will soon be unbeatable.

The trait I most deplore in others is…

Selfishness and entitlement. You see it a lot in the fashion industry and it makes my toes curl. I do really believe in karma, so ultimately I feel sorry for people who don’t have the ability to respect others, but it still gets my goat! Be on time, apologise for your mistakes and do what you say you’re going to do. Courtesy and kindness should also come as standard.

I’d like to be remembered for…

Having something to say! It’s so easy to get lost in the visual side of fashion and social media, but I really want to encourage all women to stand for something – whatever it is, use your voice.

What makes me happiest is…

A completed to-do list. It’s currently something I fantasise about.

Can I run in heels?

I’m 5’4″- I could give Usain a run for his medals in my stilettos.

You can check out Work Work Work online here, and follow Katherine Ormerod on Instagram here.

Damaging Dating

For a single, twenty-something woman living in London, bad dates are a rite of passage. I’ve had my fair share of ‘colourful’ experiences; from the aspiring writer who insisted on recording our conversations into a notebook during our date, to the man who – within five minutes of arriving at the restaurant – was telling me about his time spent in prison for “threatening behaviour”. These stories, if my friends and I are a true representation of the dating scene, are par for the course, and provide excellent dinner party material – I make it a rule to arrive at any event armed with a minimum of three such stories to oil the wheels of conversation during the night.

I have a phone book full of names which conjure up a litany of sins – like the ‘Reverse Cinderella’: the guy who would only ever be available between the hours of midnight and 7am, or the man who I discovered reading through my diary when he stayed at my flat for the first time. My general attitude tends to lean towards the view that “there’s no such thing as bad dates, just good stories,” and I’ve enjoyed dining out on these tales many, many times.  There is, though, a more low-level type of  poor behaviour creeping into the norm – one which is eminently less worthy of dinner party tales. If 2016 was the year of ghosting – the sudden and unexplained cutting-off of contact by someone you’ve been dating – it looks as though 2017 lay claim to ‘breadcrumbing’.

For those of you not embroiled in the heady maelstrom that is dating in the digital age, this less-than-appetising behaviour is characterised by receiving sporadic contact – a text here, an Instagram ‘like’ there – from a potential partner, without it ever progressing into anything more meaningful. A real-life date may be loosely alluded to (“we should meet up sometime…”) but these overtures rarely translate into reality. And yet, regular in their irregularity, the messages continue, strewn in front of you at random, keeping you invested enough in the situation to harbour a vague idea that this could be a great relationship – if only you weren’t both so busy and it wasn’t so difficult to fix a date to go for a drink…

Breadcrumbing is how I’ve found myself in countless non-relationships which are stuck in a Groundhog Day-esque state of texting and interminable waits for replies, with a conservative sprinkling of actual face-to-face contact. Breadcrumbing is the insidious cousin of ghosting. Where ghosting leaves you with a quick sharp shock of realisation – you’ve been dumped – breadcrumbing leads you on, until two years later you realise you’ve been in a static and largely Whatsapp-based relationship with someone you met in 2014 when Tinder was, briefly, your default dating method.

And while – in theory – this annoying behaviour is largely harmless, in my case it started to have a damaging impact on my existing relationships. I found myself turning down plans with friends on a Friday night, keeping the evening free in case the most current breadcrumber should get in touch. I felt a pervading sense of reliance on the validation gleaned from the infrequent contact from whichever guy was in favour at the time. I found that my confidence was knocked with each breadcrumb I too-eagerly responded to, realising that the relationships existed exclusively on the other person’s terms. Allowing myself to be strung along ultimately prevented me from closing the door on numerous unfulfilling relationships, dragging them out until they’d become tired, stale, and sad, and I’d become increasingly jaded.

In the spirit of full disclosure, in no way am I suggesting that this is purely a male behaviour – and my hands aren’t clean of doughy blame; I too, have been a breadcrumber. I’ve been guilty of keeping guys on hold, knowing that I wasn’t interested in them romantically, but enjoying the attention, or not wanting to hurt their feelings by being honest.

If you ask anyone who’s had recent experience of dating, they’re likely to have their very own unique breadcrumbing experience. But why is this behaviour so prevalent? It’s probably fair to lay some culpability at the door of our instant gratification app culture which encourages us to view dating as a never-ending carousel of options; that if one romantic lead goes cold, another is a mere swipe away. On a deeper level, I suspect it’s also down to the fact that humans are inherently self-involved: we each see ourselves as the central character in our lives, with others entering and exiting as bit-part players. When this attitude is combined with dating in an environment in which we have countless options at our disposal, it’s a breeding ground for commitment aversion; our romantic relationships become more superficial and we dip in and out of others’ lives freely, without really stopping to consider the consequences.

Whatever the cause, the bottom line is this: we all lead hectic lives with various demands on our time, but if someone wants to see you, they’ll make it happen. Breadcrumbing is a sign that you’re being kept on the back burner by someone who wants to have their bread-based cake and eat it too. They want the freedom to choose not to commit, resting safe in the knowledge that they could call on you as a back-up during a particularly dry spell, seeing sporadic ‘checking in’ as a good way of doing that.

After having gone through this process more times than I care to admit, I’ve discovered that there are only three failsafe steps to follow when you discover that you’re on the receiving end of a breadcrumbing: delete their number, dust off the crumbs, and don’t look back. The path of the dating world in 2017 may be littered with crumbs, but you don’t need to follow that trail.

Life & Work

You’re a successful arts broadcaster working at the BBC. A journalist in TV and radio – the dream, right? Or perhaps – if you’re Skinny Champagne‘s founder Amanda Thomson – not quite. Of course, quaffing fizz is part of the role if you’re a journo and Thomson has sipped her fair share of bubbles over the years. So why not study in Paris at the Cordon Bleu School and gain a diploma in wine? Sure – a nice little passion project. Next up? Develop your own sugar-free Champagne. Why not? And so Skinny Champagne was born. Raised in the 1970’s, Thomson had grown up eating low sugar, vegetarian foods, so healthy eating was something she’d always lived with – but could she create a healthier version of everyone’s favourite party tipple?

Working with renowned French wine producer, Alexandre Penet, Thomson created the world’s first sugar-free champers: meet Thomson & Scott Skinny Champagne Grand Cru. Launched in 2014, the brand has caused quite a buzz – with media coverage in every title you’d care to name, not to mention being dubbed “the basic bitch drink” by The Guardian and referred to as “a gift from God” by The Times. The Thomson & Scott range now includes a rosé Champagne as well as a sugar-free Prosecco – all of which very regularly sell out at Selfridges. So what makes the over-achiever, health food pioneer and saviour of basic bitches –  and their waistlines – tick? And can she run in heels? We found out.

Motivation for me is all about…

Getting it right. I’m passionate about creating delicious, quality sparkling wines that are made as naturally as possible and use little or no processed sugar. Enjoying my wines with friends, family and colleagues is the best motivation possible.

Success means…

Working to my own timetable. This might mean 24-hour days, spending a weekend in gym gear because I never quite move from laptop to wardrobe, and being in three different countries in a week. I’m stubborn, so being able to set my own agenda – even if it does mean working 24/7 – is liberating. Seeing my bottles stacked higher than my head in Selfridges is a pretty heady rush too!

I couldn’t have got there without…

My husband. When I couldn’t let go of a crazy dream to give up my job as an arts presenter and broadcaster to study for a diploma at Le Cordon Bleu in Paris he was with me all the way.

I always start my day with…

A strong coffee. With a dash of oat milk. I’ll try and hit the Nutribullet too. At this time of year it’s greens (kale, cavolo nero, spinach) with ginger, sweetened with apple and possibly a jot of maple syrup. My husband makes a mean Bircher muesli too. I try and keep things seasonal, and my secret tip is frozen spinach. You can buy it ready chopped, and it comes in cubes.

When I don’t feel inspired I…

Run/spin/lunge/box/jump around! I am extremely energetic and sometimes my mind needs to be bounced around as much as my body. I also love wine, hotel and restaurant gossip and news, and spend a lot of time browsing Code and the Drinks Business, and looking at LinkedIn to see what colleagues are up to.

The landscape for women in business today looks like…

It’s getting brighter. I have occasionally been on the receiving end of casual sexism (a fund manager asked if I’d like to bring in a colleague to help me “go through the figures…”) but there are so many women out there starting up and running incredible businesses. Anya Hindmarch and The White Company’s Chrissie Rucker are two incredible business women who have given me early days support, along with Jacqueline de Rojas in tech.

The trait I most deplore in others is…

Lateness. I am pretty OCD about being on time, and don’t understand why anyone would habitually drift in late to appointments. Although sloppiness and bad manners are up there too (I’ve been accused of having very high standards which I guess must be true).

I’d like to be remembered for…

My sense of fairness, integrity, and my laugh. My husband says he heard me before he saw me for the first time!

What makes me happiest is…

Enjoying wine and good times with friends and family. That, and spending time with people who are passionate about what they do. Whether that’s a local restaurateur who knows everything about seasonal ingredients or the CEO of a FTSE-limited company who will do anything for his or her employees.

Can I run in heels?

Just watch me! My whole business has been built on people telling me it can’t be done.

For more information, see the Thomson & Scott website. You can also find the brand on Facebook and Instagram or follow on Twitter.

Life & Work

When it comes to the fine jewellery market, it’s undoubtedly a women’s world. But just how many successful jewellery brands founded by women can you name? Stocked in Liberty and with her own standalone stores across London, Dinny Hall is the UK’s leading female jeweller. And she’s been a prominent and influential part of the jewellery and fashion world since way back in 1984 when Liberty – the retailer that continues to stock Dinny Hall today – bought her Central St. Martins graduation collection.

Simple, beautiful and elegant, Dinny Hall’s fine, sculptural jewellery includes wear-forever pieces from subtle earrings and pendants to jewel-encrusted rings and necklaces. Every piece is instantly recognisable as Dinny Hall, and these are versatile jewels to wear and enjoy every day too – they’re modern yet timeless. Hall’s eponymous luxury jewellery brand may be well-known, but as Creative Director, she continues to be involved with every aspect of the business – from sketch to creation. A true entrepreneur and a woman who inspires so many, we found out more about the woman behind the brand…

Motivation for me is all about…

My motivation to run my own business first came from wanting to look after myself, not having to have a man do it for me. My partner tells me that I am a ‘Pollyanna’ and a close friend told me that ‘you see the world through rose-tinted glasses’ – perhaps having these traits keeps me motivated because I always think that I am going to achieve what it is I set out to do. Most important though is how you deal with disappointment, because if you give up when things don’t seem to be working out then you will lose your motivation – so never give up.

Success means…

Having the freedom to do what you want. You can only be successful by having a dogged belief in yourself and what you do but with that comes an ethical responsibility. Success in itself means nothing you cannot feel it, see it, touch it and it doesn’t love you – success in itself doesn’t make you happy.

I couldn’t have got there without…

The encouragement of my Mum as a creative child as it all started when I picked up a pencil. A love of what I do. The help of many people who have believed in me (and now my brand) along the way. A steely determination. No fear of change or obstacles along the way.

I always start my day with…

A cup of tea, time to think, a walk with my miniature schnauzer Bo. I carry a Moleskine notebook with me everywhere and I jot down ideas or things that need to be done. I do yoga and sometimes Pilates to keep as sound in mind and body as I can be. A good friend of mine of a similar age and who founded The Women’s Equality Party recently said to me ‘We must be Athletes’ to do what we do! Once I’m at my workplace it is constant and non-stop from the moment I get in until I leave.

When I don’t feel inspired I…

I’m always inspired. There are times when I’m at a low ebb of course and the thought of designing another pair of earrings is not high up on the agenda. I’ll read, I’ll go for a long walk in the country, go to a good movie, go to a gallery, see my friends or tidy up! – all food for creativity. I try to never waste time.

The landscape for women in business today looks like…

There are certain industries where women in business can excel but I’m afraid globally, by and large, it’s still a man’s world – why would we protest march as did so very recently if there was an equal playing field? However, if we are smart – and I mean very smart – I see no reason that women in the West cannot have a better landscape in the near future. For the rest of the world we must educate all women and try to change deep-rooted idealistic and religious belief which holds them back. I also would like to point out that men don’t have to be like women to change attitudes any more that women should feel the need to be like men – vive la difference!

The trait I most deplore in others is…

Greed – this covers a lot of other negative traits and leads to corruption. Greed tends towards the lacking in another, insatiable desire, craving and on to addiction and ultimately it is a truly destructive force. I’m not keen on laziness either!

I’d like to be remembered for…

Creating a great British jewellery brand and being a nice person – a good Mum, partner, friend and I would like to have inspired others.

What makes me happiest is…

When I’m with those I love in Norfolk. Working in Chiang Mai in Northern Thailand and being able to do lots if different kinds of yoga (which is where I am now as I write this). When I’m designing and coming up with new ideas (if I think I’m on the right track). When people are shopping in my stores and my new collections are popular and selling. Wandering around junk shops or antique markets anywhere in the world. Looking at amazing architecture. Getting a new handbag!

Can I run in heels?

I can still dance for hours in heels and run too, but I choose to look after my feet. Those days of dancing for three hours non-stop in heels are rare. One thing about shoes is that you can never ever have enough pairs, and if that’s being greedy I’m sorry!

For more information, see the Dinny Hall website. You can also find the brand on Facebook and Instagram or follow on Twitter.

Life & Work

In a city renowned for its stuffy gentlemen’s clubs, Grace Belgravia is quite remarkable really. No Chesterfields, golf tidbits or sexist banter here – it’s a world away from the image you might have of members-only clubs. And that’s because this is a members club exclusively for women. Light, airy and elegantly-appointed, the 11,500 sq. ft. space is dedicated to women’s health and wellbeing, with an impressive range of services on offer. From personal training and yoga to luxury spa treatments (Aromatherapy Associates massages, Natura Bissé facials) and a dedicated team of medical experts, women can expect to be looked after from top to toe. And who’s behind this magical wonderland for women?

Having worked in communications and marketing – and with a Master’s Degree in Luxury Brands and Services – Kate Percival opened Grace Belgravia in 2012, aged 57. And yes, she’s a working mum too. A champion of “preventative medicine and ageing well,” Percival has even overseen the menu of fresh, seasonal, nutritious food on offer at the Grace Restaurant, where you’ll find superfood-rich salads and juices, as well as organic wines and a delicious weekend brunch. Created to support and empower women, the club also hosts a program of events to nourish mind as well as body – think book clubs, talks and arts evenings, as well as ‘power breakfasts’ with successful women in business. Kate Percival is one very busy lady – here’s how London’s leading wonder woman makes it work…

Motivation for me is all about…

Wanting to achieve the best possible outcome whether it be for clients or staff or friends.

Success means…

Making people happy with the service we deliver at Grace. Knowing that we have made a difference, however small, to their lives. We see stressed business women coming here and notice even after a short time the shoulders go down and life takes on a different perspective. Some have even said Grace has saved their lives. That makes everything we work so hard to achieve all worthwhile for me.

I couldn’t have got there without…

My amazing husband and business partner who is both a mentor and dear friend. Having someone who always has your best interests at heart and can stand back and help you see the wood from the trees! And of course a strong team of colleagues in the business. Grace is not a one woman show and is heavily reliant on team effort and a willingness to share information and be collegiate.

I always start my day with…

Peace and quiet! An hour to get ready, collect my thoughts and prepare mentally and physically for the day ahead. Every morning I then walk to the Club and collect my Grace to Go breakfast. I like to know I’m eating the most nutrient-dense food throughout the day and it’s delicious too! To try and practice what I preach with exercise, I now train in the Grace Gym on some mornings during the week alternating between yoga, pilates, and boxing. Once a week I also go speed walking in Hyde Park with my daughters – this is totally rejuvenating since we talk most of the time and put the world to rights!

When I don’t feel inspired I…

Go for a long walk and lots of fresh air. Being able to realise when it is necessary for ‘me time’ also helps. This is what I wanted to achieve with Grace – for it to be a place to restore the balance of work, family and friends, to recharge, rejuvenate, meet empathetic people, and have some fun at the same time. There are so many amazing women at Grace doing so many different things with their lives. They continuously inspire me to keep going even when the going gets tough!

The landscape for women in business today looks like…

Hugely exciting. I truly believe there is nothing one cannot achieve if one puts ones mind to it. Confidence is the most important thing for success and doing things 100% – I hate mediocrity so getting things right first time is really important. That’s not always possible in a start-up business, and one has to make adjustments but principally success is about doing things with integrity.

The trait I most deplore in others is…

Laziness, not being prepared to go the extra mile or doing the homework to make sure that what is produced whether it is a service or a product is as good as it possibly can be.

I’d like to be remembered for…

Energy and drive – and hopefully creating a space to support women both in the club but also through our support for a number of charities through the Grace Belgravia Foundation. And being a good mother, friend, wife and colleague!

What makes me happiest is…

A fulfilled day with lots of my boxes ticked off – lots of work, seeing family and friends, members and everyone around me feeling good about themselves.

Can I run in heels?

For sure! I have never felt healthier or more energised since starting the business, despite experiencing the strain and long hours associated with running a start-up, it’s a testament to the Grace way of life.

Grace Belgravia is London’s leading health, wellbeing and lifestyle club for women built on the philosophy that to thrive in today’s society we need to invest in our greatest asset, our health. For more information on Grace Belgravia and how to join, see the club’s website. You can also follow on Twitter @GraceBelgravia and find the club on Instagram.

Keeping A Healthy Balance

New year’s resolutions can mean giving up booze, signing up to a punishing gym routine and promising ourselves to cut out food groups. But instead of restricting yourself, why not follow the DOSE mantra and “work out, eat well, balance”? Here’s five ways to get into healthy hedonism – which means integrating exercise with eating well and mindful drinking to promote happiness and balance…

Drink better

Instead of the ‘I’m never going to drink again’ cliché, choose drink more mindfully and moderately in 2017. Rather than bingeing on sugary pints, bottles of wine and bubbles, try mixing a ginger JARR Kombucha tea with a splash of gin and lemon, or UGLY sparkling grapefruit and pineapple water with a dash of vodka. Or be a rebel and go alcohol-free… There are plenty of options out there like Superbock and Bitburger Drive non-alcoholic beers and Seedlip, a non-alcoholic spirit made from six botanicals that’s the next best thing to a Gin & Tonic. If you’re going to drink bubbles, choose one that cuts back on the sugar like Skinny Champagne.

Mix up your workouts

Don’t get hooked on one type of fitness class. Your body will reach a plateau preventing you from seeing results and by training the same parts of your body you run the risk of injury – not to mention it gets boring and repetitive! Shock the body by working different muscle groups to boost your metabolism, strength and endurance. If you like high-intensity interval training, stretch out with Pilates, or if you’re a spinner, work the upper body with yoga and TRX. Boutiques are including more offerings under one roof so you can mix up your workouts without leaving your favourite studio. Try Another Space in Covent Garden which offers Cycle, HIIT and Yoga all under one roof, or Frame (branches across the city) which hosts a endless variety of classes every day.

Plan an epic challenge

There’s nothing like an over-indulgent festive period to trigger a new fitness challenge. Whether it’s a marathon, bike ride or coastal hike, part of the fun in setting a new goal is linked to dopamine: the neurotransmitter that affects motivation. There are many ways to increase dopamine levels during training like listening to playlists that leave you feeling like a badass and visualising what it will feel like on reaching your goal. We are picturing an awful lot of wine and cheese after the Paris marathon! To keep dopamine flowing long-term, set small goals throughout your training and reward efforts every time a goal is reached. Why not team up with a buddy and run to brunch? Multi-tasking, hello!

Learn the art of breathing

Controlled breathing – like exercise – combats stress and anxiety. It’s just harder to do and for some reason, harder to talk about too… There are 23,040 breaths in each day but few we are actually aware of. When was the last time you took a moment to consciously inhale or exhale? Having more awareness of our breath connects us to the way we move, think and feel. By aligning our breathing with the beat of our heart we can breathe away stress – that’s why exercise feels so good! But when you can’t make it to the studio or outside for a run, there are some simple breathing techniques you can do in a few minutes. We’re currently trialing an app called Breathe Sync.

Get out and about in nature

For your next holiday, make sure you go beyond the hotel and stimulate your sense of adventure – plus there’s no need to travel quite so far either! Why not go horse riding in Ireland, climbing in Scotland, hiking in the Lake District, surfing in Devon or walk the coastal path in Cornwall? Getting out in nature is the best cure for the soul and is sure to leave you feeling revived. Reward your efforts with a chilled, freshly-poured pint at the pub!

DOSE is an online destination for healthy hedonists that fuses the worlds of fitness, healthy food and drink. Whether you’re exercising, socialising with friends, eating well or rewarding efforts over a glass (or two), we want to lead you to your feel good hormones (dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin and endorphin) to help you stay balanced. Founded in early 2016 as a weekly newsletter sent directly to your inbox with a guide to where to work out, find fuel and a healthier tipple. Everyone’s DOSE is different, find yours. Sign up for the newsletter here, and don’t forget to follow on TwitterFacebook and Instagram too.